• End of April, 1/2 marathon – more to come on this
• End of May, participate in the 10th Anniversary of Action Cycling 200. I expect to only ride maybe 50 miles a day but we’ll see what happens between the 1/2 marathon and the ride.
• July 4th – Peachtree Road Race 10K. I’d like to better my time on this by at least 15 minutes and do it all without stopping.

Three goals. If I can stick with it, those goals will carry me through the beginning of July. From there I can come up with a second half of the year goal. But I think it’s doable. I know it is. I would like to intersperse all that cardio with some weight training as well. I bought some Living Social package deal for a gym and have been going to body pump. I don’t love it but damn I’m sore so I know it has to be doing something for me. I’m hoping for 5 days a week of some kind of activity. Keep it moving and keep in shape. And keep it honest.

I’m tired just thinking about it. But I’m fired up. I have a goal to work towards and assuming my almost-40-year-old body doesn’t fall apart between now and then, i would hope to be in kick ass shape!

So my new plan… It’s a workout plan. I’ve signed up to do a 1/2 marathon in November, in Puerto Rico. My hope is with an event in the future, I can possibly use that as incentive to continue working out. So, I’ve printed off my 1/2 marathon training plan (Hal Higdon) and if I back up the days, I will need to begin August 21, while I’m on vacation. That’s OK though, I’m hoping the nice ocean breeze will keep me moving while we’re there. But, I need to do something between now and then.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to beat myself up over running, at least not until September or so. As I’ve mentioned, it’s beyond hot here. I can get out there with the kids and run but it’s too hot for them to be sitting there in the stroller, sweltering. I did figure out a way to put an ice pack in my single jogger and used that to keep Patrick cool while we were out the other day but I still felt bad about making him sit in that heat. I mean seriously, an ice pack in the stroller to keep my kid cool? There’s just something wrong about that. So, unless the days are cool enough that I think their little brains won’t melt, we aren’t going to go out. If I want to melt my own brain, that’s one thing but not my beautiful kids. My plan is to do the 30 day shred, or something like that, at least 3 days a week between now and when I start my training. And when I do start that, I hope to either hit the gym for strength training or add in some shredding.

I think it’s doable. I’ve done a really good job with keeping my weight at a comfortable level, although I’d still like to lose 10 pounds. I’m still nursing so I’m not sure how much that is attributing to keeping the weight down but I’ll take it. And I’m hoping to stop nursing in September, so I need to be in full swing exercise and healthy eating by that point. So that’s the plan, shred, run, eat well and stay cool. Although, I suppose that’s not really a new plan.

While Courtney (and Patrick) is awake, I won’t be on the computer and I won’t be on the phone (unless someone actually calls me, which is so rare).  I won’t be on Twitter or responding to emails or playing some game.  I won’t be focused on something other than my kids, well, something electronic.

It’s been hard this week, being trapped at home because of the weather.  Fortunately Paul was home Monday and Tuesday so I at least had someone to talk to.  But the irony is that I rely on things like email, Titter and Facebook to feel like I’m not alone in the world, but I’m not alone, I’m home with my kids.  There are days, like yesterday, where we’re still home and I’m no longer sure there are people out there beyond our cul-de-sac.  I didn’t do as well yesterday as I would have liked but I’m making way more of an effort.

I’ve spent a lot of time on the floor this week, there’ve been a lot of tea parties and a lot of farm play and a lot of cooking.  And it’s been fun.  It’s been a lot of fun.  It’s amazing to see Courtney play pretend and make tea and cook soup and play with her little farm animals.  She’s become such a little person with strong convictions and ideas and serious stubbornness and OCD tendencies.  And you don’t see than when you’re plugged in, you miss it all.  Or only sort of see it.

I’m not going to say that I’m never going to be plugged in but I’m going to try my best to be in the moment.  Phones down, computer closed, mama in the moment.

Somewhere between Patrick’s birth and the 20th of December, I’ve lost all self control when it comes to food. I can’t stop. If it’s not nailed down, I’m going to eat it. Cookies, candy, cake, ice cream, pizza, cheese, crackers and on and on. Part of it could be lack of sleep or part of it could be the excuse of nursing. Or part of it could be I just have no self control. I literally saw a blog post about a brand of Trader Joe’s ice cream and I had to own it. And eat it. Pathetic.

I have worked out a few times and if I weren’t standing in line at the post office, I’d be there now. (I did finally make it to the gym and while my workout was way shorter than I’d hoped for, at least I made it.  Thanks USPS!) But a few times at the gym and in front of the Shred aren’t exactly going to offset the crazy amounts of crap I ate last night.  I need at least 4 hours in the gym, a day, to at least break even on the ol’ calorie in calorie out nonsense.

The other night I fed Patrick around 2am and then laid there for 2 hours, thinking about making Ree’s Cinnamon Buns and how I was going to bring some to the neighbors on Christmas morning and some to my sister-in-laws and I’d cut the  dough in half so we could have rolls on Christmas Eve.  I mean, why is this important at 2am?  Why am I spending HOURS thinking about this in the middle of the night?  And why am I thinking about a breakfast that isn’t going to happen for a week??  I mean, who lives like that?  Oh, me.

I’m really hoping that Santa is going to put some self control in my stocking because come December 26th, all the crap is gone.  The ice cream goes down the drain, any cinnamon buns go into the trash and the holiday parties are behind us.  My brother and his family are coming for New Year’s, I hope they like celery because that’s what we’re eating…

Could someone please pass the cheesecake…  Oh, and don’t go to the post office today people.