Karen Chatters » crap parenting moments

Nap-no-more

Karen — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:43:01 +0000

I know I’ve been holding on for a long time. Hoping and hoping and hoping that the naps would continue. That the quiet would continue. That the me time would go on. But alas, I think we’re done. Three years and two months into it and I’m pretty sure we nap no more.

Of late it’s been a battle. Not the act of going into Courtney’s room for nap time, she’s happy to go in there. But staying in and being quiet. Which is really all I want, some quiet. I want Courtney to have some time to rest and recharge. Because really, she needs it. She needs that time when she’s not doing 600 things but maybe one or two, in the confines of her bed, of her four walls. But I’ve taken away the diaper or pullup at nap time so if she needs to go to the bathroom, she has to tell me and I need to come and get her. So she screams. I mean, SCREAMS. This ear-piercing, window shattering, dog-calling scream. And I go RUNNING from where ever I am to make the screams stop because I don’t want her to wake her brother. Or shatter my her eardrums. And inevitably, we get in some type of a thing with me wagging my finger and telling her to Stop. Yelling. This. Minute. Which, of course, only makes her scream more. And louder. It’s a nightmare.

The thing is, she’ll stay in her room (mostly because the door is locked) and play quietly for a while. And maybe that’s all I’ll get. But on the other hand, I also think that Courtney waits and waits and waits UNTIL nap time to go to the bathroom. It’s as though she knows it’s her free ticket. Little devil child, she is…

So as of Friday, we’re going to play it differently. She’s still going to her room but I’m not shutting the door all the way. I’ll leave the light on and the white noise off and if she has to go to the bathroom then have at it. The question then becomes, how long can I expect her to stay there. Probably not long. I wonder if I were to set an egg timer or something if she’d stay in there until it dings. I wonder if I can set it to go off 5 days later… Wish me luck. I’m sure the force is not with me but we’ll see what happens. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get enough time to get into the shower and shave BOTH legs as opposed to the 3/4 of one leg I completed yesterday. Now the question for me is when will I shower again AND have the time to shave the rest?

Holding on

Karen — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:00:34 +0000

Sometimes you just have to look at the pictures, the captured moments, the stillness of it all, to remind you that some of these not-so-great moments will pass. They will, honestly. The pictures of the smiles and new moments and excitement help you to hold on to the fact that your kids are awesome and you are SO lucky. Today is one of those days. And it’s not even that the entire day is bad. It’s that witching hour before bed, or even before dinner, where things fall apart. Where the independence and exploring toddler can push all your buttons and try and push you over the edge. Where the screaming and the yelling and the crying and the complete and utter disregard for what you say has you wanting to hide in a closet. Because it’s not all day, just those last hours of the day that can cloud the laughter and the fun from earlier. Pushing away the happy memories for those moments where you’re ready to lock the kids in their cage.

White trash mom

Karen — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 01:52:44 +0000

My exercise of late has kind of sucked. I’ve had a hard time getting motivated, fitting it in, finding it high enough on my priorities to get it done. Last week I took the kids out for a walk in the morning. The goal was to get up and get moving. Go go go. I asked Courtney if she wanted to get dressed first or just head out for the walk, she elected to just get going. So we did. Patrick is wearing Christmas pajamas and Courtney is wearing her floral pajamas, that could explain some of the looks we got. They look way more comfortable than I felt, that’s for sure.

For the record, I was dressed in something other than pajamas…

What is wrong with you?

Karen — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 14:50:55 +0000

I’ve uttered that statement to Courtney a couple of times and I’m hating myself for it. I haven’t said it in a few weeks. But I’m still hating myself for saying that. The question should be, “What is wrong with me?” It wasn’t in a oh-you’re-not-feeling-well kind of way but more in a there’s-clearly-something-wrong-with-you-or-you-wouldn’t-have-done-exactly-what-I-told-you-not-to-do kind of way . And, of course, there isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with Courtney. She’s perfect in every way. Perfect in her cuteness and her mannerisms and in her growth and development in being a 2 year old, going on 3, or 13 or even 23 year old. And when I say “perfect” I don’t mean she’s perfect, because of course she’s not but I’m fairly certain she’s “perfect” in her development and attitude and mannerisms being exactly where they’re supposed to be for her age.

She’s testing. She’s pushing. She’s learning. And it’s all to be expected. I guess. But it’s killing me. Don’t push your brother. She pushes. Don’t take Patrick’s toy. She takes. Don’t lick your brother. She licks. Don’t eat that, it’s almost dinner. She eats it. And then she looks at you. With The Look. Oh, The Look. The Look makes me want to smack her. Or laugh. Usually I laugh. Often times I put her in time out because The Look is so wrong. And she uses The Look for a couple of different things and sometimes it is funny but the rest of the times, it’s just defiant. It’s the You’re Not The Boss Of Me look. It’s the I Heard You But Am Ignoring You look. It’s the Just Watch Me Steal That Toy look. Oh The Look, it’s just so wrong.

I find myself being pushed to the limits and having to very carefully watch what I say. There’s nothing wrong with Courtney and I don’t want her to think that there is. But sometimes the behaviors are just not OK. And the timeouts work, for a minute but then an hour later or later in the day or the next day, she does it again. And back in timeout she goes. There’s nothing wrong with her, but she’s clearly not listening. And when you say to her, why did you do that, she’ll say she’s funny or she was just doing it for a moment. But really, she’s testing and pushing and seeing if the rules today were different than the rules yesterday. BUT THEY AREN’T, THEY’RE THE SAME! And she Looks.

And I cry. OK, I don’t but I want to. There’s nothing wrong with Courtney. She’s excellent. If only I can remember that the next time she pushes/bites/licks/steals. I just wish she’d stop. Or I knew what to do.

I’ve already failed… preschool

Karen — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:47:54 +0000

Courtney has now had school for 3 days. Two days last week and one day this week. Tomorrow will be her 4th day (see, I went to school too, I’m sooo smart). You get it, it’s early in the year. She’s barely started. Things are progressing nicely. Really, she loves it but I knew she would. The teacher said she’s “starting to talk.” Oh boy, “starting” to? The teachers are in for a startling revelation – the girl never stops talking. Anyway, they’ll learn soon enough.

They’ll also learn that mom’s not so great with her homework. On Friday they sent a note home explaining this weeks focus – All About Me. Each day the kids will do something talking about who they are and the things they like. “Bring in some of their favorite things.” OK, got it. That was on Friday.

Roll tape Monday. It’s 8:45 and we’re getting ready to get dressed (we have to be there at 9 – it’s 7 minutes away). I look at this piece of paper on the counter and, um, oops. Yup, I totally forgot the homework. I’m scrambling to get lunch packed and things in the car and Courtney dressed and now I have to print pictures. And find things she likes. And, um, oops.

Fortunately, I get to school with a few things and they tell me that I don’t need them until Wednesday. Of course. This time I got lucky, next time I may not be so lucky. Perhaps it’s good that I’m setting the stage now with Courtney, keep the expectations low and then I can just improve from here. Is that the wrong attitude? Probably…