Karen Chatters » Courtney

My girl

Karen — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:00:55 +0000

My dearest girl,

Yesterday marked a big day in your short but wonderful life. It was your first day of school, all on your own. The first time I’d leave you in the company of strangers. It was terrifying.

On your first day, I had to wake you up. Your dad and I took that as a sign of the next 18 years of our lives.

As we sat and ate breakfast, I really watched you. We sat together, you in your pajamas with your bedhead and your new sneakers, ready for the day. Or at least your cereal. You have gone from a tiny human to a little girl in such a short period of time, how did that happen? I watched you as you took your strawberries from your plate, put them into your cereal and then ate them with your spoon. I also watched as you’d take this huge spoonful of food out and say, “big bite” and then spill half of it down your front. “Oh no” you’d say and then attempt to clean it up with a napkin. When you were done, you picked up your cup of milk, “both hands” you said, while intently drinking your milk as I hovered next to you, as though I could catch it when it falls.

It’s amazing to me how much you’ve changed in such a short period of time. You’re quite the little talker and you’re no longer a baby, even though I still call you that all the time. You say, “here you go” and “thank you.” I love the thank yous, I could listen to you say that all day. Apparently I say, “here you go, baby” quite often because that’s what you say as well. And you almost always say those things in the proper context. I washed an outfit for your soon-to-be sibling the other day and the entire little body suit was smaller than your shirt. I can’t believe you were once that small, I was really thinking there was something wrong with the babies outfit to be so small.

As we sat and talked, I told you about the teachers and the kids in your class and the things you were going to do. I talked about what a big girl you are and how much fun you’d have. When we got there and I went to drop you off, you cried and clung to my neck as though your life depended on it. It was all I could do not to burst into tears on the spot but to tell you that you were going to have a great time and I loved you as I looked pleadingly at the teacher to help remove you from my body. But make no mistake my love, I cried as I got into my car and drove away from that school, I wish I’d had someone to hold on to.

You are still a couple of months from 2, which seems hugely gigantically old to me. As your sibling grows ever larger and takes over my body, I’d like to slow time as it pertains to you, it just goes so fast. I want to capture you at this age, not forget a minute of it. I want to remember you always with your goofy, playful walk as you stomp around the house in your big girl sneakers, your arms out to the sides and your head tilted. I want to remember you as we sit at the table, tilting our heads in opposite directions, with our mouths gaping open and then laughing at one another. I don’t want to forget the times we have sat and you say, “Silly mommy. Silly baby.” over and over.

People don’t tell you what being a parent is all about, they can’t, there aren’t words for it. It is the greatest source of joy (as well as frustration and heartache) one can experience. So thank you, my sweetest girl, for bringing me such happiness and hope for our future, it’s going to go too quickly and I will do my best to be as wonderful for you as you are for me.

Love,

Mommy

The end of summer with some geeks

Karen — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 13:00:49 +0000

This weekend was SO beautiful. The temperature has dropped to the “lovely” stage and someone sucked the humidity out with a straw. I know there will be more nastiness to come, as happens in the south, but I am LOVING these days (even 10 degrees lower would be ideal for my pregnant-furnace of a body).

We took Courtney to her first ever nerds and geeks parade, also known as DragonCon. It was quite entertaining for the adults, I have to wonder what Courtney thought of it. I can say that she hasn’t been exposed to much any science fiction so it had to be a little odd for her. Or not. But Courtney did get into it and seemed to find it all quite fascinating. Of course, the fountain she played in before the parade and all the babies she saw during the event were equally as fascinating to her and we probably could have just gone to the park or something. Then we wouldn’t have seen things like this:

Our pool went from bath tub water icky warm to frigid in the matter of 2 weeks or so. Courtney still can’t get enough pool but she definitely prefers not to get her face wet. I mean, she will, but there’s a lot of eye rubbing and hair swiping when she comes up.

Update: Our closing didn’t happen. Or isn’t happening. I don’t know what the deal is. Maybe Thursday or Friday? WTF people.

Today we close on our current home, it won’t be ours anymore as of 1:00 today. It’s kind of sad. We’re super excited for our new place and can’t wait to get it fixed up and start the next chapter. Despite the rodents and the damn driveway, this house has been good to us and this is where we have started our family. I’ll be sad when we leave. The incredibly fabulous news is that the buyer has offered us the opportunity to rent back a little bit longer, which is SUCH a HUGE relief. We were looking at potentially having a few weeks of living in my SIL’s basement with a toddler and a newborn. We were even talking about after living in the basement for a week or two, living in their lake house for another week or two (we hadn’t actually discussed this with them) so we could have a roof over our heads. When the buyer was here the other day and said we could stay longer, it took everything I had not to burst out into tears of relief on the spot. Literally. I’m sure all the young, single guy needed was some hysterically pregnant and blubbering lady in his soon to be kitchen to make him change his mind. Of course, in celebration of renting our own house, the dog barfed on the carpet, twice. At 7am of different days. Maybe I shouldn’t even be talking about this, I hate to jinx us. Fingers crossed!

Wish you were here

Karen — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:59:39 +0000

We’re more than half way into our week in New Hampshire and I’ve decided I’m completely incapable of picking a good week for vacation. Last year when we were here, it was 100 degrees every day, there’s no AC and we sat in our own sweat for 7 days. This year it’s in the low 70’s (which I’m loving), maybe even the upper 60’s, and it’s rained most of the week. And, of course, this is the most rain they’ve had here all summer. Go figure.

Courtney still isn’t napping and after waking up yesterday morning at 5:30, I decided to move out of her room in hopes that she’d sleep better, at least in the morning. It didn’t really work for either of us for varying reasons. This morning she slept until all of 6, an improvement over yesterday but still less than ideal. As for me, I was up at 1:45 with the most intense heartburn. I’m assuming that’s what that was, I’ve never had it before, but a handful of tums and a couple of hours later, I was back to sleep. And, well, it would have been nice but the 6am wake up killed any chance of a good nights sleep. And of course, there were the sprinklers that were hitting the side of the building at some dumb time and then it was raining buckets and really, who needs sleep at 32 weeks pregnant.

Despite the fact that it’s pouring, again, and we aren’t sleeping, still, and the dogs are peeing on the floor because they won’t go outside in the rain, and I now have this heartburn/reflux thing going on, we’re having a great time and wish you were here.

Dancing in NH from Karen Chatters on Vimeo.

Vacation is exhausting

Karen — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:00:11 +0000

We made it to New Hampshire on Friday without much fanfare. Our flight left Atlanta about 30 minutes late which wasn’t so bad as it allowed us to eat our dinner while we waited to take off. I attempted to strap Courtney into the toddler plane harness thingy* and she was having none of that. “Down! Down! Down!” she screamed and cried and carried on for the next 30 minutes, which is exactly how long it took us to get from the gate to the runway. So, I took her out of the damn harness and put her in my lap and she was fine and talked nonstop for the next 45 minutes. I’m not sure what our neighbors thought of us but I tried my best. And of course Courtney didn’t sleep on the flight and I had to resort to Elmo, who makes me want to stab a pencil in my eye, but it kept her entertained and out of my shrinking lap.

Anyway, we’re having a good time. Saturday was really nice, Sunday was icky but either way it’s COOL and pleasant, some would say cold, and we were wearing pants and long sleeve shirts. Our biiiig problem is that Courtney isn’t sleeping. She won’t nap and she won’t sleep at night. She’s screaming and carrying on and it’s exhausting. It’s not relaxing for me and while she’s not really behaving all that badly or anything, it’s stressful. I just want her to sleep! Our first night she screamed for 90 minutes when I finally gave up and went to bed myself and put her in the bed with me. And she crashed out. Both days she wouldn’t nap so I ended up lying down with her and I fell asleep while she read a book. This nap thing is working out and only briefly and kind of just for me for a minute here and there. My hope is that this sleep thing improves before we leave here on Friday because mama needs to relax.

Oh, and ALL she wants to do is play outside. Which would be PERFECT if it weren’t raining and cold.

So maybe when you get right down to it, there are things about this vacation that could be improved. I do believe the weather for Monday is continued crap, as I’m sure the sleep schedule is. For example, as I write this, Courtney has been in bed for 40 minutes and screaming that entire time. My guess is that when I go in there to go to bed, she’ll still be screaming and in order for me to get any sleep, I’ll have to pull her in bed with me. However, as of Monday night (tonight, I s’pose), we’re splitting into separate rooms and she’s completely on her own. Or so I hope…

*If you click on that link and actually buy the harness thingy, I think I get six cents. There, disclosure made.

Staying put, for now

Karen — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 13:05:24 +0000

We were supposed to head to Orlando this weekend to visit with family, attend a BIG event (50th wedding anniversary) and visit with friends. I was looking forward to potentially taking Courtney to Sea World and to visit with one of my oldest and dearest friends. But with Courtney developing a fever, and then a cough and now I have a runny nose and all the house stuff, we just aren’t going to make it. As a matter of fact, I should be eating breakfast with my friend as I type this, sadness. I was feeling guilty about not going and maybe C would be OK and we should go but based on the amount of snot I’ve seen this morning, I think we’ve made the right decision.

Paul decided that he’d take tomorrow off and we could do something as a family in the morning. I was all pumped to take Courtney to the aquarium as I haven’t taken her there yet and maybe it wouldn’t be terrible on a Friday morning. As I rambled on and on in bed last night, not being able to breathe and not sleeping, I mentioned how excited I was and Paul had to be the voice of reason with, “Assuming she’s not too sick.” Well hell all Mr Responsible. I was already thinking whales and seals and then Mexican for lunch but now I’m not so sure.

Instead Courtney and I are parked in front of Sesame Street and some Elmo (I don’t get the loooove for Elmo) and we’re going through a bunch of tissues. And I’m certainly not sitting by the phone/email, waiting on word from the realtor as that would just drive me batty.