Karen Chatters » bloggers

Who said nothing good comes from the Interwebs

Karen — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 13:00:27 +0000

Unless you’ve been in Antarctica for the past year and have limited access to the Interwebs and you’re a blogger, than you know this weekend is BlogHer. It’s a big ol’ blogging conference that’s being held in NYC this year. I had wanted to go but with being 7 months pregnant and two upcoming vacations, oh, and no money, I didn’t know how I was going to swing it so I didn’t really look too seriously into it. But now it’s here and everyones tweeting about it and blogging about it and unless I want to give up the Internet and my phone for the weekend, it’s hard to avoid. I’m bummed I’m not there but two interesting things have happened before the conference has even started.

First for the light and fluffy…

I spend FAR too much time on Twitter but I have found some really cool links there and gotten some good advice and tips from people I’ve never met, or have met once or twice. I’ve even made some online friends through twitter and have seen some sad things and some amazing things. Shawn from Backpacking Dad (I think it was Shawn, I’m not 100% sure so if I’m wrong, I apologize to the genius behind this) started the hashtag #HomeHer10. Sure it’s not NYC but it’s been highly entertaining and I’ve found myself at home, laughing over silliness. It’s nice to spend some time with myself (huh?), laughing with other people about being at home. I mean, how do jokes about peeing alone and laundry remain so funny? I guess because if they aren’t funny, you might cry. I guess I feel a little less lonely, maybe a little less left out and this week, I need it.

Now for the really amazing thing…

Catherine Conners of Her Bad Mother has been on a crusade for her nephew Tanner who has Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy and won’t be with us much longer. You can read about his journey there, it’s heart breaking that any child, and any family, should have to go through something like this. Catherine started Tutus For Tanner, people running 5k’s (in tutu’s, duh) all over to raise awareness for DMD and helping Tanner fulfill his biggest wish, to die at home. How’s that for a wish? This morning at BlogHer, there will be a 5k in which who-knows how many men and women will be running in tutus to raise awareness and hopefully a little money. Tanner will be there to see it happen.

Now, here are the really AMAZING things that can happen with the power of social media. First, Tanner, his mom, and Aunt flew from Canada to NY on Wednesday on Air Canada. Tanner spends his waking hours in a $15,000 wheelchair, custom made for his body. Air Canada broke the chair. BROKE IT. At first they were saying it would be fixed by MONDAY, as in 5 days later. Tanner isn’t mobile without his chair. That’s unacceptable. Through the power of Twitter and then the media, Air Canada was held responsible, their nose held to the fire, and did the right thing. Quickly. And, they’re going to pay to send Tanner and his cousins to Disney World, another one of the items on his life list. And it all happened a hell of a lot faster than would have happened if social media weren’t involved.

The other AMAZING thing… Scott Stratten of Un-Marketing.com held a tweet-a-thon this week for Tanner to raise money so he could live out that final wish. In less than 30 hours, he raised over $25,000 for Tanner’s family so they can equip their home to accommodate Tanner and hire a home nurse for what’s to come. That’s the power of social media. How would you do that otherwise without some celebrity name behind you?

People think that Facebook and Twitter and some of those other “silly” sites are time wasters or they just don’t get it. People don’t understand how you can form a “family” or friendships with people you’ve never met, but you can. You can relate, get help, give hope and make a HUGE difference in the life of someone that you’re probably never ever going to meet. So yeah, maybe I spend too much time on Twitter, but in the end, it’s all for the better.

Being true to who I am

Karen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:00:29 +0000

One of the things that came up at Mom 2.0 Summit is the importance of being true to yourself. The importance of not trying to fit into a mold or to be the person that someone else thinks you should be. We live in a society where women have a choice of whether or not they want to work or stay home. That choice is available to us because of the women that came before us and worked so hard for equality in the workforce. And while women still don’t have equal pay (stupid), we have equal opportunities. We don’t have to have 2.5 kids, a clean home (thankfully), a dog, dinner on the table when our husbands get home and be perfectly well quaffed every day. We can be ourselves. We can spend the day in yoga pants, unbathed, with the breakfast dishes in the sink until dinner time (4 days later). We can teach our kids to be honest and true to themselves. We can do stupid things. We can swear in front of our children without feeling like we’re horrible people. We live in a time where being true to who you are is SO important in being the best parent that you can be.

Have you ever watched Modern Family? I love that show. I think it’s HYSTERICAL. And one of the reasons I think it’s so funny is because of how real the show is. The characters in the show do some dumb things but they’re so realistic and not really all that far fetched. I think a lot of the people that watch the show can relate to it, feel like they’re living a part of it. We’re not perfect, parents. People aren’t perfect. We all make mistakes. We live and we learn.

I want Courtney to always feel comfortable being the person she is in the skin in which she lives. I don’t want her to feel that she has to make excuses for who she is. I want her to know that it’s ok to go outside of the lines, or stay within them, whichever makes you more comfortable because of who you are. I want her to know that this is her life and she should live it to the best of her ability.

Growing up and even into my late 20’s, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged in the world. I think I spent a lot of time hiding my true identity in order to fit in with a group of people, people I’m not even sure I liked. And people that liked me (or not) based on false pretenses. I’m at a place in my life where I’m happy with who I am as a person, I like me. I like what’s become of my life and the choices that I’m making. I can’t please everyone, but that’s ok, I don’t have to. I try and be a good person. I try and be kind to others. I try and like (or even love) people for who they are, where they’ve come from, the color of their skin, and the beliefs that hold them together. I don’t have to agree with all of the parts that make them whole, I love someone because of or differences.

In order for me to be true to Paul and Courtney, I need to be true to myself. It’s the only way I know to live my best life. It’s the only one I have.

What you do makes a difference

Karen — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:41:23 +0000

My trip to Houston this past weekend for Mom 2.0 Summit was an incredible experience in my life. I do have some mixed feelings about a few things but overall, I’m really glad I went.

The Mad Men party was a bit of a Who’s Who in the blogging world and I was practically rubbing elbows in the same zip code as Heather Armstrong! I could have smacked her in the ass but she’d recently broken it (no lie) so I commiserated with her about it instead. I also went to dinner sat at the same table with some folks after the party and tried to suck in all their greatness AND I saw Heloise AND spoke to her. She has really great hair and skin but, honestly, having never read her or followed her or looked to her for hints, I didn’t really have much to say to her but something profoundly stupid.

Gretchen Rubin was on the keynote Friday morning with Heloise, which I kind of have to say, was weird. They weren’t a good match. I would have loved to have heard MUCH more from Gretchen and less from Heloise. I just couldn’t relate to Heloise and I think perhaps I’m not really her target audience. Sorry Heloise, but as I learned this weekend, if nothing else I must be true to myself and honest. Although nice. So that’s what I thought of that.

I did learn a lot though and I won’t bore you with all the details, unless you want me to. I DID continue to come out of my shell a bit more and not only did I talk to some people but, I asked questions. I went up and SPOKE with Heather and Rebecca and Tanis and others and they were all super nice and friendly and they gave hugs and couldn’t have been more fabulous. But why wouldn’t they be?

Me with Rebecca. Please ignore all of my chins.

Me with HEATHER ARMSTRONG!!

I got a a fair bit of swag and I’m hoping to give some of it away to you, my wonderful friends.

I do feel like I met a really wonderful woman, who doesn’t live that far away from me, whom I think I could be life long friends with and can’t want to talk to again.

There are some incredibly smart women out there with so many HUGE ideas. I’m pretty sure I’m not one of those women but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a voice. Social media has really opened up a different way of life for a lot of people. It has created a wonderful community for so many people, in so many different ways. There are people who’ve found comfort and solace after the loss of a child, there are people who’ve found their voice and written books, there are people who have found the support and help they need to lose the weight that has literally saved their lives. And so much more. I know a lot of people don’t get how it is that people that you’ve never met IRL can be a friend, someone that you go to for advice or insight or to help lift you up in a time of need. But the sense of community that I was welcomed into with open arms is all encompassing.

I was really glad to get home though, I missed this face.

The face of my beautiful girl

Homeward bound

Karen — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 12:49:28 +0000

Paul posted a picture of Courtney at the Aquarium on Facebook on Saturday that brought me to tears. It wasn’t Paul’s choice in clothes that had me so sad but the picture of the huge girl, with her face pressed up against the shark tank, taking in all the newness. And I was missing it.

Later we set up a video chat and she tried to feed me cheerios through the screen. She was so cute and very chatty and it nearly broke my heart in two.

I had originally planned to have a liesurely morning in Houston, complete with a massage and a shower. But I decided Saturday night that while the massage was going to be heavenly and relaxing, I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy it. So instead of leaving Texas at 1, I’m leaving at 7:45.

Of course, I didn’t sleep at all last night. Sounds that I hadn’t heard at all the first two nights kept me awake all night (someone seemed to have a fascination with the ice machine all night long). Combine the elevator noises, the ice and the snoring roommate, and I may as well have stayed awake all night.

It’s amazing that such a small person can have such a huge impact on my life, my priorities and my heart. I should now be home by noon instead of 5 and that’s what really matters. And when Courtney naps, I can nap and shower but I won’t miss anything else with her. This weekend anyway.

Outside of my confort zone

Karen — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:36:47 +0000

I arrived in Texas yesterday, after a slightly uncomfortable flight, only find that I didn’t have any luggage. I wasn’t pissed at Delta for not getting my bag here in time, which they totally could have, but I was pissed that I didn’t have my outfit for the Mad Men party last night. I didn’t have anything fancy to wear, I was going to do a Betty Draper goes to the beach thing, but I didn’t want to show up at this party as the only person not dressed up. Turns out I wasn’t the only one not in costume, so that was good. And, I traveled in real clothes, as opposed to yoga pants and a t-shirt, so that was extra good. But I was still disappointed that I didn’t have my clothes.

Anyway, despite all that, I’m SO outside of my comfort zone. I’m SO bad at getting out and meeting new people and it took me quite a while to really climb out of my shell and talk to some people last night. As I mentioned, I know one person and I have two roommates, so that helps but I’m here to meet people. I’m here to get out. Make contacts. Learn some things.

I’m definitely learning, and meeting people. Through the power of Twitter, I was that person that didn’t have any luggage so several people empathised with me before I’d even arrived. I finally remembered that these people are women, just like me, they’re just people. I spoke with Rebecca, whom I love love and think she’s an incredible writer with a magical way with words and she was JUST as fabulous in real life as I thought she would be. I’ve also met some wonderful women who I haven’t read in the past and everyone has been wonderfully nice. You know why everyone is wonderful? Because they’re people. People like me. Sweet and nice and caring and HUMAN.

There’s a fabulous art exhibit tonight that I’m really looking forward to. I’m pretty sure I’m going to survive the weekend and even make some wonderful friends. Stepping out of my comfort zone is hard but the rewards in the end are worth it. I need to keep telling myself that.