Karen Chatters » 15 months

Holding on

Karen — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:00:34 +0000

Sometimes you just have to look at the pictures, the captured moments, the stillness of it all, to remind you that some of these not-so-great moments will pass. They will, honestly. The pictures of the smiles and new moments and excitement help you to hold on to the fact that your kids are awesome and you are SO lucky. Today is one of those days. And it’s not even that the entire day is bad. It’s that witching hour before bed, or even before dinner, where things fall apart. Where the independence and exploring toddler can push all your buttons and try and push you over the edge. Where the screaming and the yelling and the crying and the complete and utter disregard for what you say has you wanting to hide in a closet. Because it’s not all day, just those last hours of the day that can cloud the laughter and the fun from earlier. Pushing away the happy memories for those moments where you’re ready to lock the kids in their cage.

Seven days

Karen — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 13:50:20 +0000

It’s been 7 days since I last worked out. Or 14 since I was in my workout zone. It’s kind of lack of trying and lack of a participating and helpful child. And trying to fit my life into the hours between naps and errands and my total inability to shower. I feel huge. I feel like a blob. I feel like a slug. I feel like a slug on the front steps and someones going to pour salt on me and I’m going to die.

OK, that last bit is not how I feel but you get the idea. In the past 2 weeks, I’ve worked out twice and I don’t like myself for it. After I got married but before Courtney was born, I gained about 15 pounds. Happy Wedding gift to you, Paul. I stopped working out, was eating like crap, and all my skinny clothes didn’t fit. I was all set to get serious when I found out I was pregnant with Courtney and I was stuck with that 15 pounds.

For 3 months I’ve been back on the wagon. Or the treadmill, as the case may be. And I’ve been eating better. More fruits and veggies, whole grains, yada yada. My trip to Connecticut has completely derailed me. I’m having a hard time getting back on the treadmill. I went and joined the Y on Tuesday when we got back. (I couldn’t get C into swimming classes, the class was full, total crap.) I didn’t actually work out on Tuesday while we were there due to the work people coming to the house and the need to buy food in my limited time frame. Yesterday I was going to go in the morning but C took a nap almost immediately after waking up. For two hours. The problem with the Y is the day care is closed from 1:15 – 3:30 so by the time C woke up from the nap and had lunch, there wasn’t enough time to work out. I did the whole “is she going to nap is she not going to nap” dance in the afternoon and after I decided she wasn’t going to nap, we headed back to the gym. And wouldn’t you know that as I was making the right hand turn into the Y parking lot, C fell asleep.

Being a stay at home mom is awesome. I love it and wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it’s so hard to balance taking care of myself while taking care of my family. I NEED to exercise so that not only am I healthy for me but I’m able to keep up with my little bundle of energy. I’m also a huge fan of clothes that fit. And the clothes that I’ve been wearing being too big. Big fan of that. Way back in the day, before C, I would get up and be at the gym at 6. I’m kind of thinking I need to get back to that. The only time I can really guarantee hours to myself is when Courtney is sleeping, during the night. Sometime between dinner and breakfast, there are hours for myself. I’m not a fan of less sleep. But I need to take care of myself.

Today was going to be my first day in the gym at 6. I failed. I’m pretty sure it had everything to do with being up from 1-4 with a not sleeping, kind of crying, unhappy toddler. Well, tomorrow is another day. I hope.

There’s no place like home

Karen — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:00:35 +0000

And I ain’t there yet. I can’t wait to get home today. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been on some all you can eat cruise without the seasickness and tiny shower. I’ve done nothing but eat since I’ve been here and I can’t handle it for another minute. I’ve only worked out twice and I’m sure that’s not made one tiny bit of difference. I’ve had pizza twice (three times if you count leftovers), ice cream, cookies, Indian food, a pound of cheese, crap, crap and more crap. All the things that I don’t buy because I have no self control, I’ve eaten all week.

Tomorrow Courtney and I are joining the Y. Her naps are a mess and I don’t know what kind of schedule she’s on but I need to get some regularity with my workouts. As much as I’ve loved Jillian and the Shred, I need some variety. I need some spin or some kickboxing or something because if someone tells me not to phone it in, one more time, I may harm them. I need some EXERCISE.

At least Courtney got in a workout

We’ve had a great time here in CT and I’ve loved getting to spend time with my grandmother and my brother, his wife and his new baby, and my parents. It’s been really nice to get in some family time but 9 days is a long time to be gone and I miss my doggy and he may miss me, we’ll see. And my bed, I miss my bed. But not my pillow, I really hate my pillow and need to invest in something new. Whatever, tangent.

Friday Courtney and I drove a bit over an hour to see my college roommate, whom I don’t think I’ve seen for 7 years or so. It’s been a loooong time. We met at a children’s museum and her 2 girls and Courtney had a great time playing in all kinds of exhibits and lots of water. It was messy, and crazy wet, but the girls had a great time and it was so good to catch up with my friend!

Today is going to be hell, our trip home is a looong one. But the week will have been totally worth it, even if I have to run on the treadmill for 800 hours to make up for it.

Goofing around

Dad's arrived, let the games begin

Get these things off my head!

Saying hi to the new baby

Dad is way more fun than mom

PICTURES!!

Karen — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:00:51 +0000

It’s my Wordless Wednesday, a day late. Looks like we found a camera chord…

What is this thing?

Those eyes are killing me!

Where's my mama??

Hanging with my grandmother

The proud Uncle and Miss Carly

Cute little baby!!

Not exactly a wordless Wednesday

Karen — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:00:07 +0000

We still can’t find the chord for the camera so I can’t upload any pictures so I suppose I need to actually write something. It won’t be interesting, just an FYI.

Courtney and I are having a good time here in CT. I have to admit, I miss living here. I miss being close to my family. I may have looked at real estate online last night for at least an hour. Maybe. Possibly. Most definitely.

On Sunday, my brother, his wife, their new baby, C and I all walked into the town center for some lunch. And just to walk. It was a beautiful day here. I really envied their cute little home, excellent backyard, and the ability to walk to the Center for some good food, exercise, shopping or coffee. They’re only 1/2 mile from the Center, and spitting distance from the park where I fed the ducks as a kid. (One time, I was feeding the ducks and forgot to let go of the bread. I’m pretty sure we were all surprised when I ended up in the little pond.) My trip has been bringing back lots of memories of growing up here and what a great place this was to be a kid. I don’t know that I’m really ready to move back, and it would take a TON of convincing to get Paul to even think about it, but there would definitely be some benefits.

Anyway… Courtney has been having a great time with her grandparents. My dad took her out walking on Monday and Courtney discovered her shadow for the first time. I missed it but apparently she was confused as to why it was following her and then she kept trying to step on it. I was very fortunate to have my dad come home a little early from work on Monday so I could get to the gym. He’s really awesome, he didn’t want me to lose my gym momentum!! I’m glad I went because I then had pizza for dinner (with a salad, whatever) and ice cream for dessert (low fat, whatever) and then leftover pizza for lunch on Tuesday and potato chips. Hmmm, healthy.

Courtney met her new cousin for the second time on Monday and the encounter went a little better. I’m pretty sure Courtney was a bit more with it that time. She kept waving to Payton and seemed a little miffed that she wouldn’t wave back. That may take a while, I hope she’s patient.

We had a crazy busy day on Monday and a not so busy day on Tuesday. I haven’t been sleeping that well so I napped both Monday and Tuesday. The good news about that is that Courtney also napped, so we both got some sleep. The bad news: because I was napping, I wasn’t bathing. Good hygiene has really gone by the wayside lately. I’m hoping to take Courtney to the new, super fabulous science museum tomorrow, the super fabulous museum that doesn’t allow strollers. Well, they allow them but would prefer you not bring them. Whatever, I can’t lug my kid all over some museum. I may be working out and in decent shape but she’s heavy, yo.

Well, this post is clearly going nowhere. If you’re still with me, feel free to leave now. I’m sure you’re bored silly. I know I am.