Breathing

You know those days that just won’t end and you can’t help but wonder how you’re going to make it? The days where you just want to crawl in bed, pull the covers over your head and pretend the day never happened? Yesterday was like that. It was long. Exhausting. It seemed like it would never end.
Courtney had had a coughing fit on Tuesday morning around 5. 4:58am, to be exact. I finally went into her room and got her to calm down and back to bed. Lucky her, I never did fall back to sleep. 
I wasn’t going to wake her but she didn’t sleep all that late and she still wanted to go to school. I didn’t really want to send her but she wanted to go. I had a couple of things to do, I can’t even remember what they were now, so we took her to school and were even early for car pool. I should have gone with my gut and kept her home.
I picked her up at 2, after her ballet class and she fell apart. I mean, sobbing and, “Mommy, I’m so tired.” And she was so tired and delirious that she literally wanted to strip naked in the parking lot. I managed to keep her in the bottom half of her tutu and threw a shirt on her and as we pulled out of the school parking lot, I heard her vomit. I got us home, practically lobbed Patrick into his crib and cleaned her up. She wouldn’t nap, (“I don’t nap mommy”) so I set her up on the couch with Toy Story and went about my business of cleaning vomit.
I did the usual stuff – laundry, cleaned the kitchen, made a phone call, sewed a bit and then went to sit with her on the couch. She was panting. We watched the movie and she continued to pant and squirm and seem generally uncomfortable so I called her doctor. “You should come in right away.” And so Paul came home, we rushed off to the doctor with no car seat cover on her seat, and waited to be seen. We didn’t wait long.
“She’s having an asthma attack.” Oh. Um. Oh. What? Asthma? Yeah, asthma attack. She’d probably been having it for AT LEAST 2 1/2 hours by the time I brought her in. I. Am. AWESOME. Who knew? Asthma. So they did the breathing treatment and she improved but not enough, “You need to take her to the ER mom.” OK. 
We ran home, grabbed some food, a cover for the car seat, the iPad and off we went to the ER. I guess the “good” thing about going to the ER with breathing problems is that you get seen fairly quickly. That doesn’t mean you get treated quickly but at least you get seen. And in all honesty, Courtney was awesome. A real trooper. It was 100% the cartoons on the TV but whatever it took, she was so brave. She did have a 60 second meltdown where we sobbed over the Elmo doll that wasn’t there but other than that, nothing. And it was impressive, because we were there for a very long time. Four hours maybe? 
To make my long story longer, we get home and my car stunk. STUNK. Paul and I spent 20 minutes searching the entire thing to locate the smell. Never did find it. And it wasn’t the vomit, it smelled before that. I think something died in there. Literally. I give up and get into bed at 11:30 or so when I hear trucks out on our street. That’s not normal so I get up and look – a fire truck and an ambulance at our neighbors house. The EMT’s don’t look hugely hurried but they are taking someone away in a stretcher and I mosey over to see if I can help. I can’t and after all that, I finally get the light out at 12:30. 
Only to be woken at 4:30 this morning and I never went back to bed. I think I could die. And there’s a chance that I’ve put myself to sleep just writing this. What are the odds that I can get to bed and just hibernate for the rest of October?

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