My littles have been keeping me busy lately. And perhaps a little looney. I’m feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed and as though I’ve lost myself in the shuffle. The people who are hanging on me and asking for milk-water-apple-sauce-goldfish-can-we-go-outside-he-hit-me-mooooom-i’m-hungry-i-peed-on-the-floor-can-i-watch-tv is really beginning to weigh on me.
Kristen hit the nail on the head with the domestic claustrophobia. I get it. I so get it. The trying to be all things to all people but not yourself. I get it. The time I spend alone, with myself and my own thoughts is minimal. I know I didn’t have kids so that I could maintain my former carefree lifestyle. I love my kids and the happiness and joy and innocence that they bring into my life. I love the kisses and the cuddling. I love watching Patrick dance and sing and Courtney create little worlds with her toys. I wouldn’t trade them or my life for anything. But there are times, like now, where I’d like to find myself. Rediscover what makes me tick. What makes me a better mother. A better wife. A better me.
The claustrophobia is weighing on me. I’m tired. Have you seen me?