Cashing in my cool chips

At least 100 years ago, I owned a minivan. Let’s just start with the fact that it was free. I didn’t buy a minivan, it was a hand me down from my dad when I got out of college. But damn it was uncool. I was 21, single, driving a minivan and it was hawt. But free. Whatever, I couldn’t wait to get rid of that thing. The upper right corner of the windshield leaked and no matter how many times I took it to the damn dealer, they couldn’t fix it. So like the cool 23 year old I was, I traded it in for a Saturn. But whatever, I SWORE I’d never own a minivan again. EVER.

Until today. Or maybe tomorrow. But SOON. Yup, I’m buying a minivan. And I’m SOOO excited. I am officially the coolest person I know.

Do you own a minivan? Have kids? Then you KNOW. You KNOW what I mean. The double sliding doors. The small parking spots. The small people with car seats. The preschool pickup. The space to move around on a road trip. The drop in seats. The space. The automatic gate. Holy crap, I’m getting HAWT. Minivans are amazing. What was I thinking shunning the minivan all these years later? Playing the cool card? Making fun of the minivan and all those that own one. Talk about not cool. Me, all these years. So not cool.

Oh wait, did I tell you that I bought a Roomba this week too? I’m not sure what happened to me but I’m such a suburban housewife. Me, my minivan and my roomba.


  1. Uncle Suckster says:

    So sorry to hear about the minivan purchase…having inherited the same aforementioned 1988 Dodge Caravan (the original) I will never own one EVER again. I also drove the 1998 Ford Windstar 14,000 miles in two months across 29 states in 2004. While it did me well, I am caravaned out. Now if Ford or Chevy brought back the Griswold family station wagon I would be all for it!

  2. Andi says:

    Girl, I totally get it. Before The Van, I was driving a brand new 2008 Dodge Charger SRT. I mean, it was hot. I was hot. Together, we were really hot (you know, well rested and skinny with perky boobs, pre-baby and all). Last year The Hubs was REALLY wanting a mini-van. I was sooo resistant. Who in the hell is going to give up a Charger for a mini-van? He did months of research and took my car in for an estimate trade-in. We found a 9-month-old Volkswagon Routan with only 8,000 miles on it in mint condition. At a really good price. And test drove it. And that’s when I became uncool. The leather seats, the sliding doors… THE ROOM! Aaron was covered in bruises on his head from taking him in and out of the Charger and banging his head every time. Poor kid.

    The best thing is not having to worry so much about how much room is between me and the next car, since people in the ‘burbs can’t park worth a darn. And yes, the automatic doors.

    I sold out. And I’ve never been happier : ) Welcome to the MV club!

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