Resolutions and Expectations

I don’t believe in resolutions. I’ve said that before. I think that in so many ways, resolutions are just setting you up to fail. If you want to do something, then do it. Don’t wait until January 1st to make a change. If you want to lose weight, then do it in November. If you want to quit smoking, do it in April. If you want to be a better parent, do it immediately. But with any thing in your life that you want to change, you shouldn’t wait until the calendar turns to a new year, any day is good for change.

But I have decided that I want to make a change. Or I need to make a change. Or maybe, I don’t need to change at all. But I think I do. Expectations. I think they’re biting me in the ass. They’re making me feel like I ask too much. Or expect to much. Or live in some world where people maybe don’t know me that well. This isn’t sounding right, it’s making me sound like a snob.

I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I have certain expectations from people. In my world my family and friends come first. Always. I expect my family and friends to be there for me, as I would be there for them. I expect kindness from others, as I would give unto you. I expect honesty because who likes a liar? I expect people to be kind, but maybe that’s just hugely unrealistic. I don’t know.

But of late I’ve felt that maybe those basic expectations are just not realistic. Perhaps it really is a dog eat dog world and we look out for ourselves before we look out for others. I hate to think that the world is full of people that aren’t kind to others or don’t value honesty, family and love above all else.  But maybe it is.

Do you ever feel like you ever expect too much? That maybe you hold people to a standard that isn’t realistic? So is this a resolution? I don’t think so. Perhaps it’s a mind shift. Either way, I’ll need to make a change.


  1. I’m right there with you.

    When I invite someone over for a meal, I do expect them to ask if they should bring anything. When I offer to host a baby shower for my sister in law, I expect her not to decline because she “doesn’t want to have to take a day off of work.” I expect my in laws to drive the 2 hours (like we do ALL THE DANG TIME) and alternate who hosts holiday get togethers instead of going to their house EVERY single YEAR to a house where somebody smokes indoors. Ahem.

    All of these things are expecting too much, apparently. I think that most human beings would not think so.

    I feel like if I don’t expect things from others, that I am giving up. **sigh**

  2. Kelly says:

    I will always have expectations And often they are not met – but I cling to the bright spots like finding similar souls such as you two online.

    I feel really optimistic & positive heading into 2012. I cannot control others but I can control/define myself.

  3. Pops says:

    Our expectations come from our values and they are defining. It’s what we teach our kids and they are an essential part of who we are. That others will not meet our expectations, is not a reason to abandon who we are.

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