Dear Playdough, I LOATHE you.

Loathe. Detest. Despise. I can’t vacuum you up quickly enough.

I bring you, the story: This past summer while on vacation, I purchased some “modeling dough.” See, there was a hurricane coming and we were on this fabulous little island and all I could think about was that if we got stranded there we’d need something to do. And since we hadn’t purchased any food or water or beer at least we’d have overpriced “modeling clay.” It turns out that we got off of said island before the hurricane and we didn’t open the “modeling dough” until at least a month later when Courtney had discovered the joy of it at school. So out came the “modeling clay” and Courtney spent hours and hours and hours entertaining herself and having all kinds of fun. And after every use, we’d put said modeling clay away and it would be excellently squishy for the next session. However, like all flour-made toys, it eventually started to dry out and so, like a complete ignoramus, I asked someone to give Courtney Playdough for Christmas.

Holy hell. Playdough SUCKS. It gets EVERYWHERE. I mean, it crumbles and falls to the floor and sticks to your clothes and to your shoes and WTF, who invented this crap. I mean, GAH! Clearly, some man* invented it because he had no intention of cleaning this crap up so who cares how messy it is, let’s make millions! Don’t get me wrong, I’m no neat freak and my house is NOT out of some magazine but little red playdough pieces all over the damn place are more than I can tolerate.  And while yes, the colors are pretty and the cookie-cutter-shape-doohickeys are fun, the crap still gets EVERYWHERE. And seriously, at this point, I can’t vacuum this stuff up fast enough. The kids leave it out for an hour, oops, look at that, it’s all dry.  Vacuum. Oh look, there’s some on the floor. Vacuum. Oh hey, that container is half empty (that shit is never half full), throw it out. Of the 6 containers Courtney received for Christmas, there’s maybe 3 left. Maybe less…

I’ve already ordered and received my new Modeling Dough ** And I can’t wait to break this out, see ya Playdough.

*Yes, it was a man in 1956 and he CLEARLY wasn’t doing to cleaning then. I mean, I’ve seen TV from the 50′s and I’m sure it was all true with women cooking and cleaning.

** Yes, that is an affiliate link and if you buy it, I’ll get maybe $.06. But seriously, that stuff is the bomb diggity and you’ll love it. Unless you make it yourself and already have a bomb diggity recipe then please share.