Yesterday wasn’t one of my better days as a parent. And maybe as a person. Our day started out great – cuteness, loving, happiness and overall cooperation when Courtney and I were out and about. We got home and had a little lunch and Courtney decided to strip naked. Which, you know, is what it is and I don’t really care except… She pooped on the floor. Not unlike the dog at times who looks right at you and then spites you to your face. And really, I didn’t care that much. I asked her several times to put a diaper on but she wasn’t interested. Instead she dressed herself like this:
This is an interesting sense of fashion
But after the meltdown that ensued when I wouldn’t give her the packet of wipes on the counter, I decided it was time for a nap. Cut to the chase and 2 hours later and nothing but screaming, there was no nap and not surprisingly, Courtney wasn’t happy with me. But nap time is nap time and while she doesn’t think she needs it, she clearly does. And then I feel guilty because really, I desperately needed the nap. I needed the quiet time, which didn’t happen due to the screaming, and some sleep. And I’ve talked to my local guru about this and she told me nap time is nap time and you don’t go in until it’s over. So I didn’t. But then I feel guilty when my toddler is a little angry with me and didn’t give me the smile I normally get when I go into her room. Then, I wasn’t exactly smiling either.
It doesn’t really sound like it was a bad day, it’s not like I did anything and I didn’t snap at her or anything. I don’t think. But the day came off of a bad dinner out from the night before when I did something I KNEW we shouldn’t have done but I did anyway. It’s not Courtney’s fault that I didn’t listen to my gut and then I had a bad time. It’s not her fault that I’m 7 months pregnant and I’m so tired and it’s 100 degrees and I still don’t feel good, yet there she is, at the receiving end of my joy and misery. I try so hard to keep my emotions in check and not let her know that, at times, she’s driving me nuts. I can’t hold her the entire time I’m trying to make breakfast or lunch and the constant whining on certain days drives me to drink. OK, not really but I’d like to.
Sometimes I’d like to take a few hours and hide in another room. Or at the spa. And I feel like this is the easy part, the 1 kid part. There are going to be more bad days on my part, I just hope they’re farther apart.
Can I just say Amen to everything on this post? I often need the naptime more than Rylie ever will. I often feel guilty making her take the naptime even if she doesn’t want to. I also wonder how I’ll ever listen to one whine and one cry at the same time and NOT pull all my hair out. I think we’ll figure it out because most Mom’s of 2 that I know have all of their hair…that’s what I’m banking on =)