Me vs. Them

I live in a nice house on a cliff mountain hill, overlooking the house across the street. It’s sometimes not usually clean but I vacuum on occasion and sweep with every full moon.  I also pay people to clean, so I’m not a 100% slacker.  But cleaning people or no cleaning people, I’m not cleaning the toilets.

I digress though…  We have a lady bug problem.  It started as a little issue but now it’s insane and a bit of an infestation.  And it just may be driving me kind of loony.  I don’t know if ladybugs are supposed to bring you some kind of luck or something, pretty sure they don’t because I haven’t won the lottery yet and Courtney hasn’t started sleeping until 9 every morning.

I’m really not sure what the ladybug brings to the planet, I’m thinking not much.  Except ladybug pee.  Really.  Have you ever picked up a ladybug in a tissue?  They pee.  Pretty sure they do the exact same thing when I pick them up in my hand.  Pee.  I’ve decided that ladybugs hate rain.  HATE IT.  It rains, they come in.  All over the place.  Although, the other day it was beautiful and I picked up NINETEEN (that’s worthy of spelling it all out) of them. It got to the point that when I got tired of picking them up, one by one, I busted out the vacuum cleaner and picked them up that way.  Pretty sure when I go to empty the canister, 8000 pissed off bugs are going to attack me.

When they first started showing themselves, I’d gingerly pick them up and set them free.  I’m almost positive that I’d open the door, set them free and they’d just find their way back in.  Now, I flush them.  ALL of them.  Alive or dead, flush.  See you stupid, peeing, ladybugs.  FLUSH!

One of the best things about all this is that there’s nothing you can do about them.  Nothing.  At least according to the bug guy.  And the Internet.  The little buggers give off bug pheromones and can be detected by other little POS up to 1/4 mile away.  So basically, the stupid things are letting the other stupid things know that they’re driving me nuts and they should all come on over.  You know, come to the house on the hill and fly around and pee everywhere.

(UPDATE: Turns out that yellow stuff isn’t pee, it’s ladybug blood.  It’s part of their defense mechanism.  Equally awesome.)

Because I’m sure you wanted to see a picture of the inside of my toilet, here you go.  I left this for Paul the other day, I wanted him to know what I’d done during the day while he was working.  And this is only a fraction of a fulls day work for me.  I’m a rockin’ wife like that.

The ladybug urn