Eat this… and this and this

Growing up, my brother was crazy hyperactive.  Off the wall hyper.  Now, he’d be diagnosed ADHD but at the time, he was just psycho hyper.  I have to admit, I wasn’t really paying much attention.  My brother is 3 years younger than me but when your 10 and your dorky younger brother is 7, you ignore him.  I do remember he was always going and going and going, he played every sport under the sun and then more.

Back in the early-mid 80’s (I know, FOREVER ago), there were no Whole Foods.  There was a health food store that was smaller than your average Subway.  And the food was crap.  But my mom shopped there because the foods had no sugar.  See, my mom had learned through sheer genius and desperation, that if my brother didn’t have any sugar, he was less hyper.  Sugar, red dye #5, funky ingredients not found in nature – all made him nuts.  So she went to the crap health food store and bought fruit roll ups that could make you lose your teeth if they were loose.  She bought peanut butter that had no sugar, which was terrible.  There were “snacks” in our house but unless you were really desperate, you didn’t eat them.

Due to the fact that there was no food in our house, or anything worth eating, I ate everywhere we went.  I’d go to the neighbors, and eat them out of house and home.  Oreos, Cheetos, chocolate chip cookies, you name it, I’d eat it.  I’m fairly certain I owe my parents neighbor $8000 worth of snacks.

I know my mom was doing what she needed to do to keep the peace and her sanity, but I “blame” part of this on my issues with food.  Whenever the opportunity to eat crap was there, I ate as much as I possibly could.  Cookies?  Eat them.  Twelve of them?  Eat them all.  It was the “forbidden fruit” thing.  Eat what you weren’t supposed to.  I still do that.  To this day.

I don’t buy crap because I have no self control.  I don’t buy cookies or chips because if they’re here, I’ll eat them.  I can’t just have a bite.  No, if there’s an apple pie a la mode, I’m going to eat the entire pie.  Or a really huge slice.  I don’t “let” Paul go to the store because he’s like a kid shopping with his mom, throwing this that and the other into the cart and none of it’s any good for me.  I try and buy fruits and vegetables and lean meats and reduced fat cheese (which is so gross) and yogurt and skim milk.  But I don’t want Courtney to have issues with inhaling foods because she wasn’t allowed to have them at home.

Case in point: I bought these veggie straw things for Courtney to eat (at Costco, so we have them in bulk).  They’re basically potato chips but “vegetables.”  She seems to like them and I’ll feed her whatever she’ll eat.  So today she was eating and I started eating them and when she was done, I basically ate them all.  No. Self. Control.

Clearly, I need help.

I know that if I don’t consider it as “forbidden” but allow myself to have a bite every now and then, I won’t eat as many.  But I know me and my body and know that if I have a cookie or a brownie or a peanut butter cup (or 6) every now and then, I won’t lose the weight that I want to lose.  Maybe it’s the “now and then” can’t be lunch and dinner.  Heh.  I usually do pretty well with laying off her food when she’s eating it.  And when she’s done.  You know, I can’t eat the “leftover” mac and cheese and then go and eat my own dinner.  Those extra 1000 calories of “leftovers” isn’t going to do anything good for my ass.

This is just one of those things that I need to continue to work on.  Self control.


  1. Lesley says:

    I listened to a radio show yesterday on this very had some interesting points. Here’s the website but you can grab it off itunes as well. Anyway, gave me some thoughts to ponder!

  2. Kelly says:

    Ahhh yes – I am so there with working on self-control. I am doing the all or nothing approach right now because in between wasn’t working. I would eat right 70% of the time then go to Five Guys… so right now its 100%. I will work on going back to introducing small things – the ‘now and then’ after I get a good start – I’ll have to figure it out. Because I like to be social and try restaurants, etc. (I’d say eating out is much more my vice than in the house – but its probably a lot about growing up as you say – we had snacks in moderation in our house).

  3. Broseph (KQ) says:

    Yo sis – thanks for the trip down memory lane. “Starsky bored” – I was so bad that on Halloween M&D took my loot and switched it with a bag full of sugar free candy. 100% child abuse…

  4. Julie says:

    I am right there with you! Yesterday I think I had seven – seven! – brownies. Uhg, my pants are so tight today. And this is my bathing suit countdown. Yuck. Good luck.

  5. Karen says:

    We all have those days. You know, the days when we can eat a gallon of ice cream and then want more. I really need to stay away from C’s food.

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