The skin I’m in

Do you ever think about the perfect body?  What that means to you?  If you could look exactly the way you wanted to, what would that mean?  Do you look at someone and think, “I want to look just like her” and she’s thinking, “God, my ass is so fat.”  I wonder, if you did a survey of 100 women, how many of them wouldn’t change a thing about their bodies?  How many women love the skin they’re in?

I don’t, but you already know that.  I have huge hips (I dated a guy once who told me I had excellent child bearing hips – I don’t think that was a compliment).  And a big ass.  And large thighs.  Really, I’m just big around the middle, very “pear shaped” as they say.  And my boobs are in their own world (I went and had a professional fitting the other day, I’m an F cup – F!!!  I didn’t know there was an F.), and of course they’re only going to get worse if I have another baby and nurse for another year.  When I gain weight, I know I’ve reached the “fat” stage when I grow another chin.  I have big calves, always have.  Well, as long as I’ve been paying attention to them.

When Paul and I got married, I weighed about 12 pounds less than I do right now.  I wouldn’t have thought 12 pounds would make much difference but I was pretty happy with myself.  I’m sure there were things that I didn’t like but I liked that I was a size 6.  I liked that clothes fit me better.  I liked the fact that my boobs were smaller.  I had muscle definition in my arms.  But I worked for it.  I worked my ass off.  Literally.  I was in the best shape that I’d been in in my entire life.  I’ve never been a runner, never liked to run, but I was a great treadmill runner.  I would get on that treadmill and run and run and run and I felt so good when I was done.  I totally got the runners high.  I loved it.  I ate really well too.  I was doing the Weight Watchers Core diet which meant I didn’t have to count points but I ate lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains.  I was cooking a lot and eating at home and I brought my breakfast and lunch to work with me every day (my lunch box was more like a suitcase).  It was a lot of work but the rewards were so worth it.

There’s a saying: nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.  I need to remember that, it’s so true.

I think I’ve been doing better with the eating.  I’ve been cooking more and eating more fruits and veggies.  I’ve been trying some different foods and am hoping to get us set up with a CSA in the spring (our local CSA is full for the winter).  I’m looking forward to getting some mystery fruits and veggies that I get to try out.  I can do better though.  I’ve been using some butter and sugar in my cooking, I need to cut that out. I’ve been eating way less cheese because that’s a problem area for me.

I’m 37 years old and having all kinds of issues with my body, still.  I don’t want to pass this on to Courtney.  As a society we spend gazillions of dollars on weight loss and diet plans.  I want  her to grow up in a healthy household where fruits and vegetables and quinoa and brown rice are the norm and not the exception.  I don’t want her foods to be coming from a box or a can.  High fructose corn syrup is not going to be a staple in her diet.  I can’t keep Courtney in a bubble, I know there are outside influences and there will be pressures from class mates, but I want to instill in her that she should love the skin she’s in because she’s healthy and strong and active.  I don’t want her living her entire life concerned about her fat hips or wiggly thighs.  I guess I don’t want her to be like me.


  1. Kevin says:

    Keep up the good work sis. Remember, the all the little cheating stuff adds up. I find it helpful to cut up a ton of fresh fruit. I mean several gallons worth and pick at it throughout the day. Eating snacks all day long helps curtail hunger and you’ll eat less. I also drink two protein shakes a day. Buy the “Bullet” – it’s easy to use and good for on-the-go. Packing it full of goodies like bluebees, strawberries, and bananas with soy protein powder packs a big enough thick shake you’ll be full taking it all down on 16 ozs. And stay hydrated…word.

  2. Friend sent me the link to your site, looks nice, I added you to my favorites

  3. Jayme says:

    Ok Karen, I new I was drawn to your site for a reason. I think you are great. I have had weight issues all of my life and I thought that I was on a good track when I got married (50 pounds and 5 years ago!)I lost a lot of my weight after I had my daughter 4 years ago, but after an issue with my heart, I have gained more weight than I could possibly imagine. I am trying really hard to get motivated to work out. The eating healthier part is coming along well. I have just been very lazy and haven’t made the time to work out. Thank you for giving me a reason to be healthier…my daughter. The women on both sides of my family have always had weight problems. We are all shorter and rounder. I would say I am more of an apple figure. (My boobs are 36 DDD, I should probably be an F too!)I have gone back and forth so many times the past 4 years but I also think that it is time to do it to be a good example for my daughter. You can do it and so can I!


  1. […] I’m sure you all remember how I went for a bra fitting not that long ago and found I was an F cup.  I thought that was pretty Freakin’ Frightening.  And that was before I was all knocked up […]

Speak Your Mind