Another milestone, this time it’s mine

I took Courtney to the doctor today for her 12 month check up. She’s doing awesome. She’s 18.14 pounds, only 15% on the scale, but she eats like a pig so it’s all good. She’s past the stage where certain foods are off limits, she can eat citrus and shellfish and we can move her off the stinky, ridiculously expensive formula and move her to whole milk. She’s growing and developing and doing all of the things she should be. Of course, she’s a rock star.

We were sitting in the waiting room and there were three infants in there. All three of them born 5 days ago. They were itty bitty teeny. They were all sleeping (nice of them to sleep during the day but I’m sure they’re up screaming all night), wearing those little hospital hats, making those car seats look huge. All the moms looked good, as in they were bathed and they were wearing clean clothes. They were talking amongst themselves, comparing war delivery stories and their experiences from the first days.  And I just sat there, with my adorable baby girl, my war story no longer relevant. Like a club that I wasn’t allowed membership into.

I remember Courtney’s first appointment with the pediatrician, it was almost exactly a year ago.  Paul came with us.  I’m sure we sat there like those new parents I saw today.  A little overwhelmed, a little shell shocked.  A lot tired. We made sure that Courtney was covered by her blanket and her pacifier was in place.  I’m 100% certain I was wearing sweats and a t-shirt and I may have taken a shower, but I wouldn’t put money on that.  People were asking us questions, they wanted to know about our little bitty baby.  About our war story.

Today, I was the one with the old kid.  Courtney was interested in the new babies but people weren’t really paying us much attention.  They all wanted to know if Courtney slept through the night, it was definitely the light at the end of their tunnel. Ironically, that isn’t even something I really think about any more. Something that was all I thought about just 7 or 8 months ago.

I just couldn’t get over how little they were.  The little toes and little fingers.  Courtney was like that once but not any more.  We used to joke about Courtney’s huge feet.  Now her feet are normal, the perfect size for her body.  The days of itty bitty people here are gone but now I’m hoping not for long.  Everyone I know said to give it a year and I was going to want to have another baby again.  Turns out everyone is right.