On a gray day in May, fifteen (!!) years ago, I graduated from Syracuse. I hung out for 4 days after graduation and then left to begin my new life. I left. I said goodbye to a few people, gathered just a couple of addresses and left. I had spent 4 years in a sorority, drinking beer at frats, making friends, doing stupid ass things, and then I left. I think I said goodbye to a few of my sisters, maybe. I didn’t collect addresses or forwarding information. I just left.
I’m not really sure what I was thinking. I knew I wasn’t going back. I knew I was moving south, I wanted nothing to do with the cold weather, I knew I was done. But what about those friendships? I’d spent 4 years with some of these women, I’d lived with one of them in Florence for 4 months, and I just left. I have a really bad memory but I do know that I went to a wedding a couple of years later for one of my sorority sisters and there were a bunch of people I knew there. It was an opportunity to reconnect with some people and I didn’t. Or maybe I did but I wasn’t good about keeping in touch. I don’t know why I can’t remember what happened, I just know that that was the last I’ve seen of any of these women.
Next weekend I’m off to Vegas. Seven days from right this minute, I’ll already be there. And I’ll be spending the weekend with 13 of my sorority sisters, people I haven’t seen in 15 or 16 years. Or even talked to. We’ve all reconnected because of Facebook. I am SO excited. I can hardly stand it. We’ve been making plans, dinner reservations, buying theater tickets, talking about what to wear. Things are coming together. I’m so excited.
I’m a nervous wreck. OK, not really a nervous wreck but a little nervous. What are we going to talk about? Are we going to relive old memories, that I know, I absolutely won’t remember? We’re going to go out and party, am I going to be able to hang? Will I be able to stay awake past 10? 11? I don’t really drink anymore. On a crazy night I’ll have two drinks. On most nights I have none. Am I going to have 4 drinks and make a total ass out of myself? God, I hope no one buys shots. And I don’t look anything like I was hoping to. I’ve known about this trip for months, I’ve had months to lose 10 pounds. Hell, I could have at least lost 5. Instead I’ve lost none.
I’m so exctied to go and reconnect with these people. To catch up on the past 15 years, to become reacquainted with my former friends. I feel like I have a second chance to have something I feel like I’ve lost. A second chance at friendship. A second chance to do over something I regret. I hope I’m not disappointed, in myself. I just hope….
