You know that game you play where the baby raises her arms over her head and you sing-song, “Soooooo big.” You know that game? Well, this post is not about that game.
It’s about my hips. And my ass. Sooooo big. SOOOOOO big. SOOOOOOO BIG!!! OMG so big. I’m so irritated with myself. I don’t know what my deal is but I totally lack motivation and stamina. The motivation to get off the couch and do some exercise and the stamina to make it for a measly 30 minutes of physical activity. Consequently, I’m Soooooo BIG. And soooo pissed.
Before we went on vacation I bought the trifecta of Jillian Michaels DVDs: 30 Day Shred, Boost Your Metabolism and No More Trouble Zones. My plan was that when we returned, I was going to do the tapes, eat a bit better and lose some weight. Last week I did 5 days of exercise. This week – ZERO. Fat ass. I feel gross. Part of the problem for this week is that I never left the house; Courtney was sick; She was off her schedule, I was confused. But those are just excuses. I have a treadmill IN my house (it’s stored next to my DVD collection). It does an excellent job of making dents in my carpet while I ignore it. Excellent. And now I feel gross. I’m quite sure my right hip (just the right, I don’t know why) is soooo big that I’m going to lose my balance and fall over. And the junk in my trunk? Well, let’s just say I could make some serious money if I cleaned the junk out and sold it at a garage sale. FAT.
But, tomorrow is another day. Maybe I’ll get my fat ass on that treadmill and turn it on. Or I’ll pop in a DVD and do some exercise. I need to do something. My chin is almost bigger than my chest and that’s saying a TON because I’m sporting the biggest bra this side of the Mississippi these days. I’m going to meet up in a month with some sorority sisters that I haven’t seen in 15 years and I would REALLY like to not be sooooo big. I’ve seen their pictures and they are NOT sooooo big. So here I am, stating it to all 4 of you that are still with me: For the next month, I am going to work out every day. EVERY one. I’m going to do the 30 Day Shred, for all 30 days. OK? Ok. Every. Day.
SOOOOOO lame.
[...] to myself – FAIL Last week, I got all high up in my britches and low in my self esteem and told you all how I was going to work out every day for 30 days. I was going to do the 30 Day Shred for all 30 [...]